It’s raining again, the showers have been steady most of the night. I snuggle underneath my quilt and like clockwork Angus appears. He jumps in along side me snuggling in tight declaring “I’m going to steal the warm spot!”. Oh what a mother must endure. I can hear Mal fixing breakfast for the kids, I’m now in no rush to emerge from my warm spot. He calls out wanting to know what Zara has, he is usually out of the house by the time the kids need feeding.

I’m enjoying my coffee, it’s showering again and the air is cool. The front door squeaks open, it’s Zara heading out with her shoes not on her feet properly. I tell her it’s raining and cold and not to head outside yet. It’s met with the usual and expected amplified scream of disapproval, but she complies. This will be repeated several more times before I bend.

The bellows of disapproval have got the better of me. “Come on Zara get some socks and a coat.”, the rain has eased for the moment. I help her on with her shoes and she darts for the door. I fix another coffee and I hear Angus heading out too. Clancy emerges from his bedroom and asks “Can I read you more of my book?”. Perfect, I’m feeling extremely unmotivated today, so reading ticks a big learning box, and the fact he is asking makes me happy.

It’s been about half an hour and I think I better go see what they are up to. I should have known the puddles would be too great a temptation. There she is standing in the middle of a puddle, but given how wet she is I know it’s not the first. Angus walks across, strangely his boots are wet but not much else. He’s talking non stop, nothing unusual there, he’s telling me about Zara being in the puddles. It’s then Zara slips and now has a muddy butt and hands, we are all laughing and she is saying “yuck” between giggles. She wanders off into a few more puddles but the breeze is picking up so I suggest we head back in for a shower to warm up. Now clean, Zara grabs her dirty clothes from the floor and takes them to the laundry to be washed without being asked, she could teach her brothers a few life skills.

Whilst we were outside Clancy’s teacher has left a message on the answering machine. They are checking in with families and requests I call her back. I will, but later, like I said extremely unmotivated today. I head to Zara’s room to see what she is doing, she is playing with her doll house. I ask her if the figurines are “flying on a magic bed”, she grins with approval and flys the bed around. I suggest a few more scenarios and she acts them out, but she’s done with this game, and grabs out a book. We sit on the floor, I am reading, but this book has puzzle pieces to go with the story, so Zara is completing the puzzles. Book finished she grabs some water paints and heads to the kitchen, time for a little art.

The phone rings, it’s Zara’s teacher doing the check in. I was expecting the call. This conversation is easy, Sonia is an amazing teacher and has become a supportive friend. I tell her we have put the school packs to the side for the moment and we will revisit them again at some point but for now we are winging it. It will be the same message I give Clancy’s teacher later, we haven’t given up on the school packs but for now my stability is important and the strong raw feelings I can still feel simmering just below my surface.

After lunch Mal and Angus head out again to kick the footy. I hear Zara heading off again, the call of the puddles is strong. I’m cleaning up lunch plates when Clancy asks if he can go out too. We grab jumpers and go out to join the others.

Mal is now putting his dog on the Ute, footy has finished. Angus and Zara are a little further on past the Ute and yes, in a puddle. When Clancy and I get there Angus is telling us the “rules” of the puddle, who’s he kidding? Man, this kid talks faster than a drag car, and barely stops to draw breath. He sits down and removes his shoes, apparently this must be a good idea as Clancy and Zara follow suit. Angus is now literally swimming in the puddle, Zara is saturated, but Clancy is conservative and at is barely in up to his ankles but the smile on his face is no less obvious than the others.

Clancy notes that two puddles are next to each other but one puddle feels warmer than the other. I ask him “why do you think that is?”, he shrugs. “Have a guess” I say. “Maybe the sun hit that puddle and not the other one.” “Good guess, very close. I think it’s because one puddle is smaller than the other, they would have both received the same small amount of sunshine today, but the big puddle would need more sunshine to heat the volume of water it holds”. He and Angus are now exploring the temperature of puddles and also discover that the big puddle is warmer at its edges. The science of nature is awesome. The cold breeze is picking up and it’s starting to rain again. I tell them it’s time to come in. To my surprise there are no objections. Back to the bathroom we head.

Showering Angus he turns to me and says “I wish you had of got in the puddles with us, it’s fun!”. I fondly remember the fun of puddles but somewhere along the way they lost their appeal. I truely hope childhood pleasures don’t loose their appeal for my kids for a very long time.

May your childhood memories bring you joy during these uncertain times. See you tomorrow.

Larissa x

So let them be little, cause they’re only that way for a while. Give them hope, give them praise, give them love, every day. Let em cry, let em giggle, let them sleep in the middle. Oh, just let them be little

Songwriters: Billy H. Dean / Richie Mcdonald

It happened like always, the sun rose again today. Angus’s face is only centimetres from mine, I’m barely awake and not a morning person. “Come on mum, I want to show you the pretty sky.” It’s not the first time in his few short years he has said this, but this morning the relevance is not lost on me.

The kids are in no hurry for breakfast, they are happy in their pjs. I seize the opportunity to have two lazy coffees in my pjs. I pick up my phone to send a snap chat to Jodi, we’ve been best friends for forty or so years, she too has always been a safe place for me to fall of cliffs, yesterday was no exception and I want to check in to let her know I’m okay. In that very instant she has beaten me to snap chat and there is her smiling face distorted by a filter, she knows those things make me laugh. The kids are now ready for breakfast.

I’m getting Zara sorted with getting dressed when Clancy comes to show me his list of jobs for his “farm”, it’s all pictures so I encourage him to add words. Angus follow suit and makes a picture list too, he can’t be out done by the big brother after all. Zara is dressed and shoots outside, headed for the chook pen, there is comfort and happiness for her in her own routines.

I wander through the kitchen and notice the one leftover sausage from last night that I had forgotten when I fed Ebby. I grab it and open the back door. There she is waiting for breakfast, no surprise there, Labradors are always waiting for food. I sit scratching her ears whilst watching Zara. I have always found happiness in the company of dogs from a very young age.

I grab the garbage and walk it over to the shed, oh the joys of no kerb side collections. On the way back I head in Zara’s direction. My eye is caught by the tiniest detail hanging from a Kurrajong tree. A live caterpillar is hanging from a single strand of web. He is battling not only to get free but to escape from a red ant trying to eat him. The battle is amazing. I try to capture it on my camera but they are tiny and swinging in the breeze so my attempts are fruitless.

I decided earlier that today I’m not going to open the school packs, if I’m honest my care factor for them is less than ten percent today. I’ve trusted the school teachers and aides to date and have made some amazing friends because of it, I have no reason not to trust they are planning for all levels of progress, or no progress, when this is finished. This does not mean that I haven’t thought about things we can do today.

“Pizza is fun, educational, and yummy for lunch!” I declare to the kids. I know there won’t be any arguments with that, they love making pizza. So I ask “what’s the first step in making pizza?”. Angus jumps in with “put sauce on”, “no” I reply, “make dough” says Clancy, “nope, we wipe the bench” I answer handing Clancy a wet cloth. The boys are excited and are now arguing over who’s turn it is, I wish I could figure out how to get that response with tidying their room.

This is fun, we cover fractions with the measuring cups, teamwork, following instructions, and then I launch into my favourite bit, the science of yeast. I have done this before, so I quiz them. I explain that this dry yeast is like a bear, it’s hibernating and it wants to wake up. When it does it will be hungry for warm sugary drinks, it will eat so much it will get a belly ache, fart and make our dough rise. The kids are watching and giggling at our farting bear yeast, it’s a welcome sound. They finish the pizza production and I request Clancy to draw a diagram of who’s pizza is where on the tray so they don’t get mixed up. Full bellies and it’s time for a decent size break, and coffee.

Onto my next activity. I pull out some painters tape, cardboard tubes, ping pong balls, straws, and a box. I set about putting tape on the floor, it peaks interest and questions on what I’m doing. I ask them to guess, this is purely for my amusement. Clancy thinks I’m making a ninja track, Angus thinks we are painting after I tell him it’s painters tape, and Zara is inspecting the balls.

I tell them it’s a race track. You are not allowed to touch the ball, you have to blow it along with the straw, extra points if you can put the ball through the tubes. All is going great, we are laughing, then we discover the balls don’t fit in the tubes, never mind the game continues. It was such fun the boys want to do it again. I don’t know how educational it is and I don’t care to analyse it, it was fun and that’s what counts.

Angus heads off with Mal, there are sheep to move again today. Clancy tells me he’s bored. I ask him would he like to read his book to me. We have been reading the fabulously funny “Bad guys” by Aaron Blabey, he agrees so we sit and read and laugh together.

I’m calling today a resounding success. Not because we achieved things that resembled anything educational, but because we smiled, we laughed, and nobody had to hide under blankets.

May the sun shine for you tomorrow and may you find joy in simple things.

Larissa x

“Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows.”

Helen Keller

I wasn’t going to write a post today, today was not a mountain but a cliff. I would like to write coffee fixed all my issues today, but it didn’t. I would love to wax lyrical about how fun today was, but it wasn’t. I wish I had some inspired activities to describe, but I don’t. However I have a choice, and right now I choose to share for my own benefit.

I was woken at 3.25am this morning by the IPad alarm, yes you read that correctly, thanks Zara your skill on the IPad without being shown is amazing. Sleep has done nothing to empty my full mind and now it is fully awake and racing. I only catch about another hour or so sleep before being woken by Angus jumping into bed with me at 6am.

I spent yesterday afternoon looking through the kids school packs, my confidence won’t hold. I struggle this morning to even get the kids to the kitchen table to start discussing the day. I pull out their activities, Angus is talking non stop, Clancy is looking less than motivated, and Zara is already having small meltdowns. I’m now doubting my capabilities to support all three, at different stages of learning and extremely different support needs.

Angus rushes through 2 worksheets, no effort expended, he’s desperate to get outside as we have a shearer here crutching and a truck expected to deliver fertiliser today. Zara has melted down and is hiding under a small rug and Clancy is looking lost.

I work through a small activity with Clancy and I hear Zara leave the house, I’m holding back tears but only just. Clancy asks if he can go outside now. We have only been at this about 20 minutes and it’s all bottomed out. With all the kids outside the flood gates open. I can no longer hold the tears in. Tears would come and go all day like rolling storms. I’m overwhelmed and today is not a teaching or learning day. I’m left wondering how many days will be like this and I’m feeling less than capable of weathering my storms.

I look out from the back veranda and see Zara in the paddock just beyond the yard. She playing in a pen we are hoping to temporarily house some chooks in soon while we construct something more permanent. I walk across to her, she smiles and verbalises her version of “come in”. I blow her a kiss and say I’m happy watching you here, in hindsight I missed an opportunity to play, when did I forget the need to play. She comes out of the pen and gives me a hug, I whisper “I love you” as I gently pull back, but she’s not done and hugs me tighter.

Back at the house, I shift gears to try and get some other stuff online finished. The website is slow and constantly drops out. Frustrated watching the spinning wheel of website death I decide to phone mum while I wait. I thought that I had stemmed the tears, apparently not, thanks for being there again mum you’re always my safe place to fall off cliffs.

The truck is coming down the front drive. Mal calls out, he wants me to go turn the crutched sheep onto another paddock in about half an hour as he will be busy unloading the truck. Well at least this will be a distraction from my current feelings. I ask Zara if she would like to move sheep with me, an enthusiastic “yay” comes and she is racing for the door. I get my instructions from the know it all five year old, and Zara and I are off.

We stop near the crutching trailer and have a quick chat with the shearer. Zara climbs up and gives a ewe in the crutching cradle a pat on the head. We climb back in the buggy and patiently wait for the last few ewes to be crutched and Zara counts them as they emerge from the trailer. We gently steer the mob across the paddock, past a dam and through the gate to the adjoining paddock. Zara is loving the ride, her joy is escaping her body in happy flapping and squealing.

The rest of the afternoon is just moving through time, get the washing in, prepare dinner, feed the dog, bath the kids, and sit for a coffee. Zara verbalises something to me and takes me to the hallway where she points to the photo on the wall, “Wa dat?” She asks. “That me and you, Dad and Clancy”. She points to my chest “num” and points to herself “Zaza”, and raises her arms for me to pick her up for a hug. I love her more than life, she is always exactly what I need, exactly when I need it.

Tomorrow is a new day, the sun will rise and I will too, but hopefully later than 3.25am. I hope that my turmoil today is temporary and I find happiness in simple things tomorrow, falling from cliffs is hard.

Be kind to yourselves. See you tomorrow.

Larissa x

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.”

― A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh Library

Like most nights lately I lie awake with my mind full, however last night I lay awake listening to rain falling. The air is fresh and the sound of raindrops relaxing. It’s late, I must try and sleep. It’s not long before my sleep is interrupted by a child being sick. I know my sleep will now be edgy like any other mother subconsciously listening for the next sickness call out.

I’m woken by mobile alarm going off, I don’t know why I haven’t yet switched that off, maybe I find comfort in the routine. This morning is hard, I’m more tired than usual, coffee first and then I set about cleaning the vomit pile of sheets, there seems to be more than I remember piling up over night.

Off to town to collect the school packs and the mail. I always find driving alone sets my mind free. I have the music playing loud enough to do ear damage and I’m singing like rock star. Those of you who know my singing abilities knows this is some concert hence why I drive alone. Varying emotions are coming like regular waves today, they build, peak, roll and break. Set after set of waves.

Mobile reception cuts in finally so I call mum to check in. We have a good laugh at some of the crazy things we have been doing or thinking about in the past week. I’m definitely my mother’s daughter, we share the same cracked gene for humour. The singing and chat with mum is a lift I need to find my feet and ride a happy wave set.

Greeting people at the school gate, at a socially acceptable distance but with no less a smile, is the principal. It’s nice to see a friendly face outside the farm gate. It’s drizzling a little but people are smiling at each other, this is a supportive environment in the mist of this strange situation we all find ourselves in. I run a few quick errands in town and head back to the farm. I’m still riding that happy wave and performing in the car again, please wave don’t break yet.

I’m sorting through the mail when Mal calls out that there is a turtle near the cow yard gate. Excited kids grab their shoes and rush out the door. Angus is the most interested and is asking questions to which my only answer is “I don’t know, we will have to look that up”, and we will. It’s lunch time so we head back to the house.

In the mail today is a cable adapter so I can connect the IPad to the TV, I love nerdy stuff like this, it will be utilised for story time videos our teachers are posting on Facebook, yoga channels, and many more things I’ve yet to discover I’m sure. I pull out all the stationery, games and the kids new school packs. I organise it all and sit with a coffee to figure out how to move forward. I’m a little terrified but determination is the next wave, here’s hoping this wave is a long smooth ride.

Teacher mum makes an appearance again tomorrow, the kids have had a 3 day weekend, it’s time to move forward again. The hopeful wave has arrived, hopeful the kids are open to this new mode of learning, hopeful my patience holds out, and hopeful we can find fun and laughter in the process.

Well not much on the learning front today. I’ve seen some great ideas being passed around on social media, so let’s hope tomorrows wave is inspired learning.

See you all tomorrow.

Larissa x

“Sometimes in the waves of change we find our true direction.”

~ Unknown ~

Day 2 started in a similar way to yesterday with a desperate need for coffee. My addiction to coffee will become evident in posts to come. One of my first bosses when I joined the workforce, Greg, used to have coffee waiting for me every morning, he would tell me “you’re not human until you’ve had coffee”, he was right.

The difference today was my boys were dressed and already outside. They have been planting and tending their own “farm” in our back yard for weeks now. Both had planted wheat, and with a little recent rain, they now had a small crop growing. They both then headed off with Mal to move sheep. I was left wondering if we would get to any activities like yesterday. Then there was a small knock at our back door, Angus can’t reach the door knob, I open the door and there stands my sweet boy presenting me with a bouquet of wheat that he had collected while out in the paddocks. These are self sown from last years harvest, we haven’t yet sown our paddocks for this year. We all sit down to discuss and list what we might like to do today, my hope is restored.

We pop open a tin of dominoes and set about playing traditional dominoes. Today we have a “my turn” loader toy for Zara’s visual helper. It’s progressing nicely, we are being a bit flexible with the rules and allowing unorthodox placements so long a numbers match on at least one surface.

During the first game, (I’m insisting on at least 2 games), Clancy asks if we can play knock down dominoes. I tell him “Certainly, but after the second game”. I’m actually interested on where that will lead. Well it starts off okay but we only have a small set of dominoes. It seems team work is too much for the boys today and the tension is rising. I quickly grab the iPad and start YouTube looking for domino knock downs. Winner, the kids are engaged with the first one I play which as luck would have it is showing basic statistics on how many dominoes used, how long construction took, and how many people are involved. Zara is loving the colourful spirals and towers toppling down.

Time for free time, and coffee!

Angus has headed off in the tractor with Mal. My anxiety is peaking again. Remember to breathe Larissa. It’s then my brother video calls, great timing BJ. It was nice to see him. Clancy didn’t want to talk today, but Zara did, she loves Uncie. She waves and says hello. I ask her to show Uncie what she’s doing and she holds up a lego Cinderella and would later show him that Cinderella is playing on a slippery dip. We wave goodbye, family is everything.

Well the day plan seems to have gone out the window. We are still trying to keep the house and farm running, all the while trying to support the kids learning coupled with speech therapy for Zara and patching eye therapy for Angus. There never seems to be enough time in the day when things are normal let alone now. More coffee!

It’s 2 o’clock and it’s time to bundle Clancy and Zara into the car to head down the farm to collect Mal and Angus. We park next to a Kurrajong tree at one end of the paddock and all pile out.

The tractor is making a plume of dust, we haven’t had much rain but the work continues in hope. I give Clancy a silly quiz on parts of the tree. The tractor pulls up a distance from us and Angus walks across to join us.

Our tree has substantial roots above the ground and Angus starts to use one like a balance beam, so I tell the kids the roots are safe but the dirt is lava and they have to get right around the tree without falling in. Fun and giggles follow.

We head back home. After a quick drink, Mal and Clancy head back to the tractor. I’m feeling low again this crazy life could continue for a long time, can I be enough for the kids? Angus pops up and asks if we can play hide and seek, it would seem he was paying attention to our planning this morning. So a few rounds of hide and seek ensues in the house, Zara isn’t really enthusiastic but plays once.

Angus finds a couple of dice whilst hiding and asks if we can play rolls. It seems he is making up activities again, hurray. So we roll and add the dots on them up over and over. Would you look at that, incidental maths opportunity. Angus has had enough and asks if he can do some “patching” with the iPad. Seriously is he reading my anxious mind, well no, he’s angling for game time on the PlayStation which is our usual reward for patching, but hell whatever is going to tick something off my internalised list I’m okay with.

Clancy and Mal return home for afternoon tea before Mal heads off again. Angus is still iPad patching and Clancy asks for a turn on the PlayStation. “No” is my answer, “not until we’ve done story time”. However I decide that today the kids can makeup a story using teddies as characters and the other can video it on the iPad, and to my surprise they agree. Clancy was first up and it descends into rubbish, so I pull teacher rank and tell him he has to try to take this seriously or the PlayStation stays off. Instant success, it’s short and sweet and I will aim to expand his effort next time. Angus is up next. He races off to collect his crew of characters. His story is short, but he decides to do a second one. This one comes with a sweet bit of singing too, my heart is melting, it’s short but enthusiastic. Given this isn’t someone reading story time I will make time to read a story with Zara after dinner if she is open to it.

I’m feeling like I’m drowning in my feelings of lack of efforts with Zara today. It’s a feeling I know well, it has visited often over the years. However I know this feeling will pass, I will take a breath and tomorrow I will swim again, or perhaps just tread water, either way she will be ok and I am enough. More coffee!

As I stood at the kitchen sink tonight I see the gift of wheat from Angus in front of me. I realise that, just like the wheat that has grown from scattered seeds, my kids grew a bit more today from scattered learning opportunities provided by just being with them today.

Tomorrow is the weekend, it’s only been two days, I need a break and that’s ok. Next week we will pick up school packs which may provide me with a sense of relief, I don’t know. Whatever next week holds or how it unfolds, it will be enough and my kids will be fine.

Kiss your kids goodnight, tell them you love them. Be kind to yourselves and see you Monday.

Larissa x

“When a child gives you a gift, even if it is a rock they just picked up, exude gratitude. It might be the only thing they have to give, and they have chosen to give it to you”

Dean Jackson

So all my kids were up at 6am, nothing unusual there, but I was having a hard time convincing myself to get out of bed. Two morning coffee kickstarters, make the kids their breakfast, and encourage them to get dressed and brush their teeth. “Right kids lets discuss what’s going on and how we are going to do this”.

We write a list of activities for the day.

Ok, let’s start day with social skills and our social contact. Onto messenger to video call Mamar (my mum). We all wave high and outline what we are doing today. No screenshot of Mamar, she was in her dressing gown still (you can thank me later mum 🤪).

We move on to “quiz Jenga” I prepared last night. The boys give me a bit of lip and attitude so I lay down the law, I will not be overruled by them haha. Apparently I’m over confident with my preparation and quiz Jenga reverts back to regular Jenga but with the addition of a “my turn” header toy to help Zara visualise when it’s her turn and when to wait.

All is going reasonably well and we get two games finished. Attention span limit is reached and all three kids then start to build with the blocks. Let’s see where this goes. Jenga has now become constructions, marble runs to be exact. Funny that there are marbles on the floor (yep I struggle to get them to regularly clean up). It breaks down into an argument with the boys over how to do the best race, so I pull teacher rank (apparently that’s higher ranking than mum) and tell them this is teamwork and they have to solve the problem. Clancy gives me attitude, I pull rank again, and Angus smiles and says “we need to take turns”. Hurray I have him on side and Clancy falls into line, all the while Zara has create her own structure and is happily running her marble. Attention is starting to lapse it’s time for a coffee break and free time.

We’re off again. We put on shoes, grab a shoebox each and head outside to collect things in nature we find interesting.

This exercise fast turns it “I got more than you” competition with the boys, Zara again going about her business happily not competing. We come to a track in the paddock and Angus asks if we can play tag. WOOHOO they are coming up with activities without me having to try. Clancy is still catching up as he is still collecting, so Angus, Zara and I start playing tag, what fun. Clancy finally catches up and asks if we can have some running races, more woohoo from me. Running races produces the predicted results, Angus is my sporting child and wins the races, followed by Clancy, then Zara.

We walk on and we spot numerous butterflies. I’m now literally like a child following them trying to take a photo but they are very flighty. Clancy tells me what the name of them is, apparently he remembers talking about butterflies in year one.

We head home for lunch where we plan for a teddy bear picnic. Flies are bad outside so we decide the lounge room floor. We discuss what we need for our picnic, make a list, and then designate jobs. With full bellies we take another break after packing up the picnic.

While everyone is taking a break I happily sit with a coffee checking out Facebook and thinking about our last activity, story time. When BAM, there’s a post on Facebook from school. One of the fabulous teachers has uploaded a video of her reading a book “The very cranky bear”….WOOHOO I’m off the hook for reading today, I actually love reading to my kids but today I’m exhausted.

Well we made it through day one, nobody cried, nobody lost a leg….I’m calling it a win. I actually had a lovely time with them but I’m knackered.

See you tomorrow.

“The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you.” – B.B. King

Thanks for joining us!

Now is a crazy time in the world. The current virus pandemic sees a lot of people at home with their kids. Many may be overwhelmed with the thought of continuing their kids education for goodness knows how long. Me, I see this as an opportunity to get to know my kids better,what makes them tick, smile, sad, laugh and so much more. Also me being me I went into overdrive and thought it would be fun to document the ride, so I set up this page and an instagram account, I’ve never used either so thus begins my learning into the future.

Our school will be providing kits on Monday. Earlier today my anxiety peaked wondering “how the hell am I going to teach my 3 kids at home when, like most parents, I can’t even get them to pick up a towel off the floor”. Well here’s the thing, wether we realise it or not, we are teaching them every day. I don’t know what will be in the packs but I think I will be viewing them as a launching pad for my own ideas. Our home will not be school, we won’t be fighting the kids to do do this, if it’s not working we will be creative and adapt. Our kids teachers have been amazing and supportive to date, and I have no doubt in my mind they will continue to be amazing and supportive through this.

Remember that learning is a life journey not a race to the finish line. Support your kids now in all this craziness and the teaching experts will be there to pick up where our kids are at when the time comes.

Stay safe, be kind, and remember to laugh and smile.

Larissa x